i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
