Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
ugly people sure do ruin things
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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