I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i think my cat just said my name.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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