As long as you're not dating white guys again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
