we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old