My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!