16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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