You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
