Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just gift wrapped bread.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
