Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
