I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
