It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
