So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's blow job season.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
