Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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