yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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