Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So many bounce houses so little time
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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