Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
