I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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