So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
