I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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