JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
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My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Houston, we have a squirter
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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