Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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