His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down