you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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