Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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