The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
