I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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