Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
vagina is talking i cant
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
