i will never coherently bang her
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You have to summon your inner elephant
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
