Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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