Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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