he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
