Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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