I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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