His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
