theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
