she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
