I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
