yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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