I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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