; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he thought i was a dude.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
