Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
