Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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