I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
