I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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