Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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