Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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