i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
