Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize