Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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