I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
