I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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