That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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