What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We are two peas in an std pod
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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