So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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