What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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