I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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