I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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