I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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