the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
