please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
