you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
