So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
